My seat at the window. A trend I think will keep through the coming months as I keep writing; good, bad, or in between.
I wrote some words today that got me to my dreaded writing hump in this draft. If you don't know what I mean, 42k for me personally, is always around the time where I notice everything monumentally wrong with my novel. The point of return where I think that if I just start over fresh on a new daunting document page, everything will turn out perfectly. Exactly how it is finally meant to be.
Thus the reason I have so many uncompleted drafts at this point. And the reason why instead of coming home pumped to write like I was earlier in the day before I begin the list of things that need to be fixed, I lie in bed at 10:30 while my laptop is across the room in fear.
Me being the one fearing, not Morgana.
I am not really too concerned by this, knowing I have time until Saturday to make up wordcount so I'm more or less on track with summer writing marathon (that yes, I realize is pretty tame a marathon). Though not writing makes me feel just as low as writing awfulness I'll need to change with every hit of the keyboard.
Shush, yes I know. "You'll fix it later, Kendra," you say.
I used to be ok with this consultation until I hit draft 6? 7? Wish I knew. Whatever it is, it is better than the previous but still not what I need, not what I have envisioned and feel in my soul other people must too.
A few words here. A few thousand randomly out of no where the next. Recently, this is it.
For now I shall look at my bookshelves in wonder of how the hell all those authors did it, and sleep with the guilt I should not have for writing tonight. All I can hope for is a better tomorrow with a muse that will just keep me writing forward instead of wanting to change things over and over again.
At least for now.
I want to get this freaking book written! To do so, I need to get over my word hump that I shall talk about with no shame since I know my one character would make all the inappropriate jokes about it, just because she can.
That makes me feel a little better.