Fully Fledged and Full of Possibilities
Up through the trees to the skies of blue and sunlight lies...possibility? We will go with it.
Yes I am a fully fledged high school graduate- whatever that is. Which honestly doesn't mean much than saying I survived boys who screamed Wolf of Wall Street lines through the hall, and a series of last minute projects done the morning of the due date while the librarian laughs over your shoulder and offers you a second glue stick.
So, if you ask if I am feeling any different, like a child on their sixth birthday, the answer like they'd say, is no.
Always "no" until it's too late and I realize that I would never get the haircut I had in fifth grade ever again no matter if I was in my girly tom-boy stage of life any 4'9" any girl went through.
This is where I can tell I have grown into a better human both in height and style choices.
But do I feel a little freer? Not like a bird, but sure, a little. With a tiny bit of freedom though, is fear of adult things that I would rather not list. Maybe can even add a few interesting ones to keep that list going. My odd socially confused personality does not suit well with it, along with my acting career's line of "fake it until you make it" bleeding into actual life more times than not. I realize sometimes, adopting this motto in moments of need makes me strong until I am that person who can make a deposit to the bank all on my own without the teller raising an eyebrow at my near silence. (I was a kid I sort of always had an unease in the bank the same way others had at the dentist. Of course that was there too, just without the questioning if each step I made would set off a vault alarm.) It is sort of the same unneeded anxiety that plagues me constantly now from the decision of whether cereal or Nutella toast is the healthier breakfast, to fearing that I overuse my darling laptop.
Yes, I am an adult and live like this. But here on the blog, there is no judgement from social media addicted crowd.
Sound like a plan? Because this is not going to be the last of my messed up brain trying to take on the world in all of its creative hopeful endeavors. Just for today.